More DNC thoughts

After seeing everyone's images in both the classroom and the photog's meeting at the Met today, I realized how much I missed out on by being inside on the camera stand. Funny, I'm the only one who had the camera stand pass, and I was the most isolated from all the important stuff that was going on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for the opportunity, but when I fell back on my organizational and management skills like I usually do, I missed out on the chance to acquire new skills and be somebody different. They are hard lessons to learn, the ones when you're trying to change how you are perceived and what you want to accomplish. We're always evolving as people but if we try to venture off the beaten path, we can encounter resistance from both outside and inside ourselves. The inside resistance is the hardest to overcome.

Anyway, the images made by my 4600 class and the photogs at the Met were really special. I was stuck on the camera stand having to slyly take images at limited intervals. It wasn't about embracing being a photojournalist and the freedom of that, it was about toeing the line and doing what I saw needed to be done for the Associated Press's editing needs. Funny thing was that the other camera stand person didn't want to be outside shooting the unwashed masses, they wanted to be inside shooting the formal stuff. If there would have been better communication, I would have happily traded and spent part of the time outside. I could have done it and done it well.

Now, the opportunity is passed.

I learned a lot, don't get me wrong, and I'm most grateful to have seen what few people get to witness. I just want to see myself being successful at something other than the skills I've already spent a lifetime working on. I wanted some confidence and chances to stretch my photographic wings. These are the hardest things to ask for, those things that you have to give yourself.